hellooo
veena here
naa some jokes again(:
#joke 1Actual Label Instructions Mark as unread
In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer products:
1. On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
2. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
3. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
4. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT
DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
5. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
6. On Nightly sleep aid:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
7. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
8. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
9. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
#joke 2A young couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife sliced her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say, "Come on in."
When they opened the door, they saw glass everywhere and a broken bottle lying on the floor. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window?"
The husband began to apologize, but the man cut him off, "Actually, I want to thank you, I'm a genie who was trapped in that bottle, and your wayward shot released me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes, so what I'd like to do is give each of you one wish, and I'll keep last one for myself."
"Fantastic!" said the husband. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem," said the genie, "it's the least I can do."
"I want a house in every country in the world," said the wife. "Consider it done," said the genie, "and now for my wish. Because I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex in a really long time. My wish is to sleep with your wife."
The husband looked over at his wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses...If you don't mind honey, I don't either." The wife agreed.
The genie took her upstairs and ravished her for 3 hours. After he was through, the genie looked at the wife and asked, "How old is you husband, anyway?"
"Twenty-five," said the wife.
"And he still believes in genies?"
#joke 3The nice guy
A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!" The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down. As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?" The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me." The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."
lololol.
gtg le
